NaNoWriMo Survival Journal Day 10 19,171/50,000

NaNoWriMo Survival Journal Day 10 19,171/50,000

 

It’s been about 6 days since an update to the blog. I apologize, but I had trouble with things real life that I had to tend to. My wife is across the country at a funeral, and I’ve been home with the kids.

Also had a few job interviews, and had a friend come over from the UK. It was busy time, but I loved all of it. I’ve managed to hit the NaNo goal (1,667) every day, and have managed to hit my personal goal (2,200) words a few times, but it’s been a challenge. Hence why the blog updates didn’t come, I had to carve out time to do the things that needed doing, on top of my NaNo commitment.

I’m on the precipice of 20,000 words 10 days in. So if I maintain this pace, my work will come in at just around 60,000 words, and I hope I can do it.

I seem to have written myself into a corner, I’m afraid. I feel like I’ve reached the point in the book where the character realizes something is gone wrong, that he’s settled for one thing, and then found the true thing he wants, and has to unravel everything before he becomes unraveled himself and is pinned with things that he doesn’t deserve. Or does he? He was responsible for at least one bad thing, and almost was for a second really bad thing – I’m trying to be vague to avoid spoilers, bear with me if this is not the most descriptive entry in the history of my works.

A lot of people are hurt by his actions, he’s a laser beam to Alderaan, and he needs to understand how much his actions can hurt those around him. I know in this genre people need to suffer, it’s about wrenching out the emotion from readers based on the experiences of the MC, not the villain necessarily, but I am not sure if I want to go for a bleak ending where he loses it all, and the story becomes a testament to always try and live a good life, or if there can be any redemption for anyone in the story.

 

I call to you, dark gods of writing, (and light if you’re there too) HALP.

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NaNoWriMo Survival Journal Day 4 8,306/50,000 Words

NaNoWriMo Survival Journal Day 4 8,306/50,000 Words

Today was difficult. I couldn’t make the words go, and I honestly considered not writing today because I have a slight lead above the average. Things that kept me going were knowing that I’m ML, and that someone out there may be looking to me and saying “If they can do it, so can I.”

There’s also the darker fantasy that somebody in the world I’m creating doesn’t want me to finish my story today. So I had to do it to squash their foul plan.

I wrote just above the minimum of 1,667 words for today, at about 1,740 or so? I’m not sure. But I did it. I maintained. It wasn’t the 2,200 goal I’ve set for myself, but at least I met NaNo goal. This scene was required to show Character for my MC, and it was kinda boring to write, but necessary. It’s probably a bad scene, but you know that a bad scene can always be edited to be good- a blank page can’t be edited that way.

Tomorrow I think I’m going to write more about nice things happening to my MC, because he needs a few nice things before I take those nice things and start putting cracks in them. Damnation doesn’t happen all at once, it’s a slow build.

 

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#NaNoWriMo Survival Journal Day 2: 4,315/50,000

#NaNoWriMo Survival Journal Day 2: 4,315/50,000

Day 2 was a little AHHHHHH for me. I didn’t do any writing until 7 PM, which is super late. I usually prioritize my day better, don’t do any gaming, don’t do anything leisurely until I’ve got my words done. But there were also factors in play that I couldn’t ultimately control. Sickness. Unexpected discussions to have with the new apartment complex we’re moving into.

But! I learned about the scary part of my book today with the introduction of a character by the name of Bert. I like Bert, he seems unconventional, and almost maniacally metrosexual, not that I intended for him to be, he was more like “Yo, check it – this is who I am, let’s bang out this story right quick’, I was quick to comply, he was highly persuasive.

I think Bert was also highly persuasive to my MC. I don’t know if Bert is evil, I feel like he’s ultimately trying to do the right thing, but people could view him as not a nice person. But I’m also thinking he’s like a sword, it can cut both ways.

I’m pleased overall. I feel like the characters are starting to show me who they are, which is very organic to me, I don’t like making them fit into molds that they mayn’t want to fit into.

Day 2, overall a good day. I met my minimum word count of 1,667 – not my personal goal of 2,200, but I wasn’t far off either. There’s a point in the writing where it’s like Okay this has to stop right here, to add more would dilute it, and that’s what happened today.

What challenges are you facing? Anything good? Anything exciting? Did you find a Bert too?

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NaNoWriMo Survival Journal Day 1 – 2,227 / 50,000

Another year of NaNo has arrived. I stand on the first day at 2,227 / 50,000 words. I’ve departed from the Natalsa series for a year, intending to finish the third book by around 2020 if all goes well. Earlier if I can manage.

I’m writing about a person named Craig Brummett, and he’s delightfully unsure of himself, and is going to get himself into a whole heap of trouble. I won’t go into details yet, but I do feel sorry for him.

A lot of things going on in my personal life I think will find their way into this novel, and I think it’s going to be very emotional, and relatable to a lot of people.

I’m shooting for 2,200 words a day. Now, the norm is 1,667 for a goal of 50. But if I end up close to 65,000 I’ll be happy.

How is your season going, if you’re participating in this 30 day insanity? My morning consisted of one cup of coffee, a breakfast biscuit, a soda, and four pieces of candy from Halloween last night. Sugar and caffeine are what will get me through this. Some people use wine if they write at night; I am one of them.

I am still Municipal Liason for Kentucky’s Elsewhere Region on the NaNo site. I’ve got an event on the 17th at Grant County Public Library from 9 AM – 9 PM. They were super to work with in the past.

I realize now as I write this that I also have Boone County Public Library’s Local Author fair that day from Noon — Four PM.

I am double booked. I will do both.

I will collapse.

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NaNoWriMo Survival Journal Day 4 – 6,873 / 50,000

NaNoWriMo Survival Journal Day 4 – 6,873 / 50,000

I don’t know why today was so difficult. I guess my mind kept wandering. I had to throw a lot of action in, and I almost think it worked. I’m forgetting how far along the novel already is, and maybe I’m a little scared to write what comes next. But write it I must.

I’m going to keep at this, I will not give up, though the fruits of distraction, and frivolity grow riper by the day. December 1st, Natalsa’s sequel will be completed.

 

So help me God.

 

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NaNoWriMo Day 3 Survival Journal – 5,161/50,000

NaNoWriMo Day 3 Survival Journal – 5,161/50,000

 

Today was FUN. I really enjoyed today’s content. I learned a lot more about Emmaline, which is a person I thought I had figured out good & proper. I’ve introduced a new character, I think I love the bad ones. I know this one is going to be evil-trash, but hopefully he turns out to be one of my most dynamic creations I’ve yet pushed through the seams of creation.

Natalsa has failed recently, despite her success in the post-war ravaged world of Otara. Thomas is still by her side, Torga has suffered injury in the most noble of ways. And Emmaline has some talented new apprentices under her belt.

Villains may not always be villains, after all; behind every bad guy is a good guy who sees the good guys as the bad guys. Amirite?

Who knows.

The next 45,000 words do, and I can’t wait to read them. I’m along for the ride just as much as the rest of y’all. Whenever I write in Natalsa’s world, I never know really where things are going. And that’s because I let the characters lead my stories.

 

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NaNoWriMo Survival Journal Day 2 – 3,467/50,000

NaNoWriMo Survival Journal Day 2 – 3,467/50,000

Today was fantastic, full of surprises. I already struggled to find the time to write today, and I knew it would be rough with working as hard as I am at work. So I told myself, “Self, you’re doing this. What you’re going to do is sit down, and you are simply NOT going to stop typing until you have at least 1,667 words.” So I didn’t . I started typing and I let my words flow without ceasing until I was done.

I don’t know if all the words were good, but it doesn’t matter if they AREN’T. Know why? A good friend of mine says you can always go back and make them better, but you can’t improve on what’s not there.

That’s my mantra for today, as I’m two days into NaNo. Write crap, spew words, forget the Delete & Backspace keys exist for the next 29 days. Trust me, you’ll use them plenty later, but for now, its just about getting your idea out there.

Bring it, Day 3.

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NaNoWriMo Survival Journal – Day 1: 1,797/50,000

NaNoWriMo Survival Journal – Day 1: 1,797/50,000

Day One.

I will probably write a more expansive article tomorrow. Today has been a struggle. I tried to write, succeeded, but in the process, my 2 year old emptied the toilet bowl onto my bathroom floor.

My tiles are soaked. My toilet paper is balled up into wet wads of bleeeeech.

Did i meet word count? Yes. Should I write when kids are firmly asleep? Yes.

See you tomorrow at either 5AM or 9 PM.

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Ke$ha

I’m uploading this from http://www.lennyletter.com/culture/a904/kesha-is-back-with-a-new-single-praying/  because I never want to forget the message here:

 

 

 

LAURA SERRA

Am I dead? Or is this one of those dreams? Those horrible dreams that seem like they last forever? If I am alive, why? If there is a God or whatever, something, somewhere, why have I been abandoned by everyone and everything I’ve ever known? I’ve ever loved? Stranded. What is the lesson? What is the point? God, give me a sign, or I have to give up. I can’t do this anymore. Please just let me die. Being alive hurts too much.

 

“Praying,” my first single in almost four years, comes out today. I have channeled my feelings of severe hopelessness and depression, I’ve overcome obstacles, and I have found strength in myself even when it felt out of reach. I’ve found what I had thought was an unobtainable place of peace. This song is about coming to feel empathy for someone else even if they hurt you or scare you. It’s a song about learning to be proud of the person you are even during low moments when you feel alone. It’s also about hoping everyone, even someone who hurt you, can heal.

 

I know that I was never abandoned by my fans, my animals, or my family, but when you are depressed — really, truly depressed — you feel like you have nothing. Even having my kitties sleeping next to me in my darkest of hours couldn’t bring me light. It is in these moments when even the most cynical among us are forced to turn to something other than ourselves — we turn to prayer, or something like it. You look past your shame, past your desire to hide, and admit you need help.

 

For me, God is not a bearded man sitting in the clouds or a judgmental, homophobic tyrant waiting to send everyone to eternal damnation. God is nature and space and energy and the universe. My own interpretation of spirituality isn’t important, because we all have our own. What matters is that I have something greater than me as an individual that helps bring me peace. This is one of the reasons why I love swimming way, way out into the middle of the ocean and just letting the sea carry my body. It is my greatest form of surrender to the universe, a full-body prayer — or meditation.

 

This song is about me finding peace in the fact that I can’t control everything — because trying to control everyone was killing me. It’s about learning to let go and realize that the universe is in control of my fate, not me.

 

I dragged myself out of bed and took my emotions to the studio and made art out of them.

It’s from our darkest moments that we gain the most strength. There were so many days, months even, when I didn’t want to get out of bed. I spent all day wanting to go to sleep, and then when I did fall asleep, I had horrible night terrors where I would physically cry and scream through the dark. I was never at peace, night or day. But I dragged myself out of bed and took my emotions to the studio and made art out of them. And I have never been happier with a body of work as I am with this record.

 

I hope this song reaches people who are in the midst of struggles, to let them know that no matter how bad it seems now, you can get through it. If you have love and truth on your side, you will never be defeated. Don’t give up on yourself.

 

“Praying” was written about that moment when the sun starts peeking through the darkest storm clouds, creating the most beautiful rainbow. Once you realize that you will in fact be OK, you want to spread love and healing. If you feel like someone has wronged you, get rid of that hate, because it will just create more negativity. One thing that has brought me great relief is praying for those people. Being angry and resentful will do nothing but increase your own stress and anxiety — and hate is the fuel that grows the viruses. Don’t let anyone steal your happiness!

 

In the past couple of years, I have grown into a strong, independent woman. I have realized through this long journey of ups and downs that if I’m lucky enough to have a voice that people listen to, then I should use it for good and for truth. I’ve battled intense anxiety and depression, a relentless eating disorder, and all the other basic bullshit that comes with being human. I know I’m not alone in that battle. Finding the strength to come forward about these things is not easy, but I want to help others who are going through tough times.

 

 

 

I was blessed and honored to be able to work with some amazing people that helped me realize the vision of this song. Thank you to Ryan Lewis and Ben Abraham, who wanted nothing other than to help me channel all this raw emotion into a powerful song, and to the mad scientist Jonas Åkerlund, who helped me actualize the psychedelic journey that is this physical, emotional ride for the music video.

 

This is just the beginning. I am so happy and grateful to begin sharing all the music I have been writing with the world. I’ve written a record that reveals my vulnerabilities, and I have found strength in that. In the past, I’ve always felt like I was trying to prove something, trying to be someone I thought people wanted me to be, but on this record, I’m just telling the truth about my life. This album is me. The most raw and real art I have ever created, and now it’s my gift to you. I hope you love it. Thank you for not giving up on me. We made it <3. I love you all so much.

 

Kesha is a global superstar and a critically acclaimed singer and songwriter. Her new album “Rainbow” will be released on August 11th.

 

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