NaNoWriMo 2015 Day 17 Survival Journal

30,015 / 50,000

Being 3/5 of the way done feels amazing, and it occurred to me just tonight that the rest of this novel could be completed in the same “In novel” day, or at least a few days. It is that close to climax and resolution.

The Remedy must be found, and Estil’s experiments are close to completion, which will allow the final villain to claim the power that has been his from the beginning. Natalsa must be put in danger, and the hero must come. But it is uncertain if that hero is herself, or another person will be there to aid her in becoming who she once was.

It’s feeling good, like something sliding into a groove that was meant just for said item. I am beginning to feel like this will work, and work well. Natalsa of the Brim could be the novel that sells, and sells quickly.

This entire thing has been like long distance running, pacing yourself and saving that last burst of energy for the finish line. It’s far away, but at last I can see it.


NaNoWriMo 2015 Day 16 Survival Journal

28,302 / 50,000

So today is a glorious day. I get to work overnight, technically a double. So i worked my normal monday 8-5, came home until 11, and am working midnight to 8am, then 8am to 5pm. I’m going to be exhausted, moody, and ready for 120 winks.

But, I will use this time to accelerate my goals on Nano. I have to write for the 16th, and now the 17th, and though I write best at night, I think tonight will not be quite as effective as I’d like, but i’m still hopeful for good things.

Grammar, spelling, punctuation is probably off on this post, and I’m too NaNo’d to care right now. I was at a block for this chapter, and I was completely uncertain with how to start it.
How did I get past it?

I just started writing and to hell if it was good or not. I think it was, in reflection.

I had a quandary today, and really want to ask someone established about it. Do you ever get the feeling, when you’re reading a new book, that you are being pulled to read one more page all the time, or that you just can’t wait to read what comes next? Does the writer of the book feel that, or is there always the doubt of “Well, I don’t feel that way about my own book bc I’m the author.” or do other authors really get that “Oh shit, this is good I can tell?”

I’ll find out someday I expect.


NaNoWriMo 2015 Day 15 Survival Journal

26,607 / 50,000

Today was the first day of the last two weeks of NaNo. I visited one of our chat rooms & joined our facebook group, I never knew these existed!

Natalsa got her shit together today, and was also the victim of magic. I think this hurt her the most,  even beyond the physical pain, as it was an example of what was once hers, and what was denied her here and now. She has stirred up the village to side with her, mostly, and she has people to command.

But they are simple, and must be trained. I see a harsh standoff occurring quite soon, and I’m a little excited to see it. I had originally written in the outline that Estil would stop the Embargo, but that doesn’t seem to be true anymore. Again, the story knows itself better than I do. So I’m gonna go with it instead of pushing them back in their box against their will. Consent, you know?

We’re almost there. Just keep writing. Just keep writing.


NaNoWriMo 2015 Day 14 Survival Journal

24,895 / 50,000

So i fell about 115 words short of 25,000 words 2 weeks in, yet I still maintained my average. I just concluded Book I of II. Officially halfway through the novel and I know the middle doesn’t end on the note I wanted it to, i feel there should have been more tension. I expect Book II to be thrilling, and focus mostly on the cure of the Malady, the revelation of Estil’s plans, Natalsa’s confession, and her hope for the future, and Emmaline’s ascent to power.

I’m not sure how many villagers will try to become witches along with Emmaline, but I know there will be some. When Estil finds out about Emmaline’s betrayal, I wonder how Leon will have him handle it. He won’t be happy, and I know Leon’s love for his daughter will be stronger than Leon’s power, but what will the restoration of his own free cost Estil?

I’m cutting the blog early tonight, its been a tiresome day. Still feeling high, blood sugarly speaking. Gonna go chug some water, happy National Diabetes Day.


NaNoWriMo 2015 Day 13 Survival Journal

23,156 / 50,000

Tonight is a night, and a chapter about hope and what a person is willing to do to save a loved one. It is terrible what has happened today in France, and I barely had the will to write tonight, to sink into that sacred well of creativity when so much heartbreak is being felt by my brothers & sisters overseas.

I think it was Kitiara Uth Matar who had an idea of fear can either cripple you, or make you stronger. I utilized that tonight, and channeled “what would I do to save someone i loved” into Emmaline as she made a tremendous request of Natalsa.

I think it worked well, and I think when I publish this, that I will donate a portion of the proceeds to some worthwhile French charity, because only with love can evil be purged.

Tonight I spent more time with my kids, and hope to spend more time later with my better half. Love your families, love your enemies.

A period of reflection i had tonight was when i’d heard that the 2 hostage takers had been killed was ‘damn i wish they’d have let them live so we could have our way with them.’ I was a horrible human being to think that, a hurt human being. But then I realized that in my belief, at my deepest level, i know that they now face God, and no punishment we could ever exact on Earth would ever compare to what they are now facing at the gates of eternity. They are to be pitied, even as evil and misguided as they are, they now face a fate worse than anything we can imagine.

Tell someone you love them tonight.

NaNoWriMo 2015 Day 12 Survival Journal

21,452  /  50,000 words.

Tonight the novel shifted to Estil & Emmaline’s tale. I am big on every villain being the hero of his story, and i wanted to examine how Estil strives to be that. If there were a second leading lady, however, it would be Emmaline. I know that she is good, her voice feels very clear to me.

I am not sure entirely how well she will mix with Natalsa, but I feel like they have to work together. Maybe even Emmaline would fit better than Penny. The last few days I’ve looked at my outline, but I’m just letting the characters drive me at this point. I want to go back and work on the last part with Natalsa, because I feel that good writers do that, they leave you on a cliffhanger, and you’re like “AGGGGGGGG why am i reading about this noob now?!” but by the end of the noobs section you’re like “AGGGGGGGGG but it was just getting good.”

So the Split POV thing I wanted to accomplish with Estil & Natalsa might be shared with Emmaline. We’ll have to see what tomorrow brings. I did poorly tonight with Art supporting Life  – and I feel ashamed that I put off some of my responsibilities. I need to take a step back, and recognize that its COOL that I’m so excited to write every day, but I can’t start down this shittrail. Art is second, Life is first.

Do not lose track of what’s important.

NaNoWriMo 2015 Day 11 Survival Journal

19,736 / 50,000 Words.

Today I got to hurt Estil, and I got to witness the true monster of Natalsa’s story. There are two sides to every story, and maybe i feel a little sorry for Estil.  He could be good, and maybe there is still hope that he can be. But right now, it’s a very long way aways, and he’s going to have to realize what the hell is going on.

On the brink of 20,000 words. That is more than I have written since Ghost Calls in February. Ghost Calls was 25,000 words, in 14 days.

Today, while driving home, I began to worry that Natalsa of the Brim is enormous. The world, the story, the character sub plots. I worry that I CANNOT finish this story in 30 days, and that I can most definitely exceed 50,000 words.

I think my plan right now is to just get the core ideas in there, and during that magical, self loathing process of revision, I can add in the other stuff. But right now my struggle is just that, how to fit all of this into a mere 30 days.

This is my first big “Oh Shit” moment, because I’m not sure how this is going to play out. The only thing I can say is … its been 11 days. I have roughly 19 more to go. Surely that’s enough time for all the things to go right, and not swallow me up in a massive sinkhole of “Oh God Oh God, we’re all going to die.”


This is a scream for help.

NaNoWriMo 2015 Day 10 Survival Journal

18,031 / 50,000

Everybody knows that guy, the asshole who tells people exactly what they need to hear at a certain time to make them believe in them. They are the manipulators, and they do it so well.

Estil is currently manipulating even me, so where I’m not sure if he’s being honest or setting me up for a fall. I think that’s a pretty solid villain, and he’s not really lying, he’s being honest, he’s just leaving a lot open to interpretation. And is it his fault, if we do not ask clarifying questions? Of course not, so really we’re the only ones to blame.

But what happens when the manipulator gets manipulated? Is it his fault then? Or is fault residing with the one weak enough to lay blame instead of flames?

Someone’s gonna burn. Some bitch, or some witch.

Struggles today were really not wanting to write, I am feeling tired, and was like “You can write it later, you can double up one day!”

But I was lying. I knew I was lying. And I stopped believing myself, because I know better. Write today, cuz tomorrow, you might stop. And whose to blame then?


You are.


NaNoWriMo 2015 Day 9 Survival Journal

16,161 / 50,000

So there are things that just seem so inspired by the gods of writing that I just marvel at times. I hadn’t planned on a bear familiar, but when I knew he was going to exist, he did. His name was going to be Torga, and I had no idea what this name meant, I thought it was simply of my own creation.

Torga means 7 ( which I consider lucky) and intelligent. Familiars are supposed to be intelligent. So when I found that out tonight I smiled, knowing that it was just too good to pass up.

Torga is the first living being cured of Green Man’s Malady, which will gather Natalsa support and fame locally, and then a little less locally. Natalsa’s fame will rival that of Estil’s, and with a little trouble, she’ll be able to find her journey’s end.

The Malady is a means to an end. It is the propulsion of the Purging, and without the purging, the malady mightn’t have been cured. Estil is responsible for the Purging, along with Leon. Villains should fear those they persecute, the persecuted often have ways of coming back ten times stronger than they were before.

He turned Natalsa into this, and I hope that he understands that though he started evil, he has produced good as a result. Evil turns upon itself, and good is absolute.

Thank you Gods of Writing. I owe you one.


NaNoWriMo 2015 Day 8 Survival Journal

14,464 / 50,000

It has been said whatever writing causes you to get up out of bed in your sleep is writing you don’t put off. That happened this morning, though Caeden wanting a bottle assisted with that. Every witch needs a familiar, and especially a witch who lacks one as the last one was untimely taken.

The new Familiar will be strong, with bear like savagery when needed.

Her familiar is a freaking bear. Surprise, Author! You know how you wanted your story to go? Well, sorry – it’s not going to be quite like that. But trust us, we’re the characters, we know what were doing! We’re living the history, you are just the scribe.


So that was today, be a witness to the story, and write. Abandon whatever notions you had of control, and give into what is right for your characters. They know best.